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Post by believe410 on Jun 18, 2008 0:11:54 GMT -6
Jacob was panting. It wasn't that he had been exerting himself, but he hadn't stopped in days. He had kept running, putting miles and miles and miles between him and wherever he had been. Canada - somewhere in the Northern Frontier. Jacob didn't care anymore. What mattered was the fact that Bella's wedding was coming up and he was home. Perhaps he could talk her out of it. Perhaps he could persuade her to chose life. Perhaps he could persuade her to chose him and not the bloodsucker.
Guys, I'm back, Jacob thought. I am at First Beach...
For the most part, Jake had kept his mind clear of all thoughts on his journey home. Now, he was exhausted. He let himself shift back to his human form and untied his pants from his leg. Jake pulled them on quickly and collapsed onto the beach. He was in the middle of the beach, in plain sight of anyone who chose to walk by. It wouldn't be big news that he was back; Sam had told the council that Jake needed to go and the council was fine with that. You couldn't stop a protector from protecting themselves.
Jake opened his eyes briefly, squinting into the blazing sun. It was odd - the day Jake came home, the rain in Forks and La Push had ceased. The vampires would have to stay in their crypt today. It was probably only ten A.M., but the sun was blinding. Jake closed his eyes once more and left himself drift to the land of nevermore in his dreams.
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Post by Bella Swan on Jun 18, 2008 0:41:56 GMT -6
For the first time in ages, the sun was out in the small town of Forks, and even in nearby La Push, it was perfectly sunny. Which meant Edward couldn't contain Bella from going to La Push, even if Jacob wasn't there, she could wish, couldn't she? Or maybe she would go and visit Leah, or maybe Seth. Just being around them might replace the empty feelings she has, missing Jacob.
Walking down First Beach, it was Bella, and a red-brown wolf. The Reason? Rain. It would come pouring any minute, despite the fact the sun was out. It always rained, the sun was just a tease.
Seeing the wolf, she ran toward him, knowing exactly who it was. Backing up few feet, out of site, she saw him change to human form, and lay down on the beach. Bella walked a few more feet, and then ran, to the boy on sands, and squealed a little. "Jacob!"
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Post by believe410 on Jun 18, 2008 11:17:59 GMT -6
[wow - thanks for the graphics!]
Jake was hallucinating. He knew it. That voice... the devil was playing games with him. He knew that Bella wouldn't really be here. Not now, not when he came out of nowhere. But something - a greater force than him - forced him to open his eyes. Bella was running towards him. If this is a hallucination... I'll take it. Anything to see her running to me like that.
"Bella!" His voice was husky and weaker than normal. He was just tired. But now, he felt as if someone jolted him with electricity. He was awake; Jake was alive. He pushed himself up off of the sand and onto his feet. He easily towered over Bella, as it had been the last time that he had seen her.
But Jake looked completely different. In the weeks since he had been gone, he kinda let his image go. He was still the strong, buff boy that Bella would remember, but his skin looked pinched. It was easy to see that Jacob hadn't eaten well in a while. Hunting wasn't his forte, especially when game was so hard to find. His hair was longer now, and it was knotted and messy. He knew that he would have to cut it - it would be too hard to get all of the knots out.
But... Bella. She was here for him! She had come! Jacob opened his arms wide, anticipating a hug.
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Post by Bella Swan on Jun 18, 2008 12:33:26 GMT -6
Bella quickly noticed that he was much skinnier, his hair was knotted, and he seemed to be, well, dead. Not dead, just not the Jacob she knew, and loved. Like a brother of course. She quickly paced the sand, and finally reached Jacob.
Embracing him, and sighed a little. "Jacob, have you been eating?" She asked him, very worried. She could almost count the bones that jutted out of his now thin frame. What matter with him? He was so small, or at least compared to what she remembered him to be, just a short time ago.
"Jacob, now I know your not a big fan of questions, but where did you go, and why did you leave?" She squeezed him a little, very happy that her best friend was back, and she wasn't going to let him leave now. {{occ:sorry this sucks. a lot. my muse is..dead.}}
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Post by believe410 on Jun 18, 2008 12:43:34 GMT -6
Jake pulled her into a tight hug. He might be thin, but he was still strong. He buried his face in her hair, inhaling her sweet scent. She was beautiful. He loved her and he knew that she loved him. It just wasn't enough. She loved him more.
"Yes, Bella, of course. Food was just a bit scarce. It's not a big deal. I'll be better in a week, tops. You know me... I can eat a whole goat," he teased, trying to get her to smile. He wanted her to smile. He wanted her to show him what he had been missing, though he saw it every time he closed his eyes. He knew that she had been worried for him. He knew that she was keeping tabs on him, as much as he could.
Releasing Bella, Jacob took a few steps across the beach and sat down on "their" tree. It was close by, something that she could reach. Jake ran a hand threw his hair, but stopped when it got caught in the tangles. "I had to leave, okay?" His eyes were dark and moody. His face was composed. He knew that Bella didn't like this face. It reminded her of Sam. "I don't know. I went to Canada. I wanted to leave all of this behind. I... left mostly because that...." bloodsucker "because Edward," the name sounded forced, but Jake didn't care. "sent me a wedding invitation."
Jake crossed his arms over his bare chest. "It cut, Bella. He's giving me the choice, Bella. Giving me the choice to either sit here and know you're going to marry him.... going to chose that life... or go and watch it first hand." The bitterness in Jake's voice almost surprised him, but he was still wounded. He refused to look at Bella now and fixed his gaze on the sand in front of him.
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Post by Bella Swan on Jun 19, 2008 11:16:16 GMT -6
Pushing her head into Jacob's chest, she smiled a little. This seemed okay, having him back. The only thing that would this a little better was if he smelt a bit better. Currently, he smelt like a across between unshowered teenage boy, and unbathed dog. But, right now she didn't mind. Her best friend was back.
After his remark about eating goats, Bella looked up at Jacob and smiled. "Yes Jacob, I am aware. Just don't make me watch. Why do you think I fell asleep at the bonfire, with your promise to eat a cow?" She said, with a light giggle. Part of Bella's to do list was not to witness Jake ingest an entire live animal. No thanks.
As Jacob pulled away from the embrace, Bella fallowed him to the tree, and sat next to him. "Well, sorry Jacob. I live him" She bit her tonge, knowing that he remark most likely hurt, a lot. "And by that I mean, I want you at my wedding, Jacob. Your my best friend." She smiled at him a little once again.
"And if you wouldn't mind, no matter what Edward says, your the best man." She smiled again, something she did a lot around Jacob, and looked at him. "Well, best boy. But you look like a man. If that helps."
Bella looked back at Jacob's thin ribs. "Come on Jacob. Lets get you cleaned up." Then Bella poked him the stomach. "And fed." She smiled, more, and grabbed his hand, stood up, and attempted to help him up.
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Post by believe410 on Jun 19, 2008 11:38:41 GMT -6
"Do I disgust you?" Jake wondered out loud. "I mean, with eating the whole cows and goats and whatever," he asked, trying to make his question sound teasing and more offhand. He had really meant the first portion, though. He still wanted Bella to chose him. He still wanted Bella to love him, not Edward. There was a hole in his heart. It tugged and ripped even more now, because Bella mentioned Edward.
When she said that she loved the bloodsucker, Jake's face turned glum. He drew a deep breath in, trying to keep his eyes from swimming too much. He wasn't going to cry in front of her. He was too tired to walk away from her, though. "You're killing me," he whispered in the lowest tone of voice possible. He was half-hoping that she couldn't catch his quick words. Half-hoping that she wouldn't feel the pain that he was feeling. But she loved him too! Jake knew. Jake had made her promises; he had promised to love her forever and ever and take her back, just in case things didn't work out with the leech. Even if she was a vampire herself, he would still love her and take her back.
"I've got nothing to wear to your wedding," Jacob said. His face was emotionless now, as was the sound in his voice. He wasn't going to fight fair. Not today. He had lost too much time as it was, with his excursion to Canada. Stupid me. All of that time, I could have been fighting for her yet.
"What about those brothers of his? I'm not starting a war; I'm not starting a battle." Suddenly, Jake looked much older than he should. His eyes held the stories of years and years of bloodshed and wars. Things that he hadn't been around to witness firsthand, but that he knew from being a wolf. He wasn't ready to start those things again. He still wanted to talk to Sam, about being the pack leader. Jacob was now ready. Jacob could handle it.
When Bella grabbed his hand, Jake's breath caught in his throat. To her, it meant nothing. To him, he was holding the world in his hand. He squeezed it tightly and got to his feet. He didn't want her to let go. He didn't want her to give up on him. Not now.
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Post by Bella Swan on Jun 19, 2008 13:12:15 GMT -6
Bella looked to Jake, at that whole question about if he disgusted her. "No Jacob, of course not." She smiled. "Well, you'd be a little creeped out too, if you saw me eating farm animals whole, wouldn't you?" She sighed a little, and pressed her lips together. "Don't get me wrong, it's who you are, and it's what I like about you. It's just a little odd."
Looking out on the lake, Bella could have sworn she heard Jacob say something, but wasn't sure. Thinking over what she had just heard, she realized what he had said to her. "I'm sorry, Jake. I really am." She said quietly. The only problem was, every time she said that, she remembered. She remembered that she loved Jacob, but not as much as she loved Edward. And it took away a piece of her every time she thought of it.
Bella sighed with a smile, with Jacob's excuse to not attend her wedding. She looked at him, and sigh again. "Youcould barrow something from Ed-......Charlie. I'll have something taken in, if you want me too." She giggled a little, trying to think of Jacob in her father's clothes. That would be quite a sight, as Charlie wasn't a small guy. Jacob was either, but Jacob was..er..in shape. And you could say that Charlie wasn't. To say the very least.
"Well, what about them? They won't do anything to you Jacob. They really won't. I won't let them." She wasn't really worried about the Cullen boys, but she was worried about the Volturi. She wanted to make sure they weren't there, so no one would get eaten at her wedding, but if she offended them by not inviting them? The last she wanted to do was piss off a bunch of evil vampires.
Feeling her hand squeezed by Jacob, she felt pretty bad. Knowing that just holding her hand was like heaven, and he intentions where to pull his lay ass off the tree. She sighed, and pulled him by his arm to her truck. "Jacob, um, no offence, but we're going to get you back to my house, and your taking a shower." she said to him with a giggle. "I'll make something eatable. Unless Charlie decided to cook. Then we'll go somewhere else."
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Post by believe410 on Jun 19, 2008 13:50:05 GMT -6
Jake pursed his lips. "Maybe," he allowed. "Okay, yes," he said slowly. "That would be really weird, but that is just because you're Bella. You're not a wolf. Leah, maybe. You, no. You couldn't do it." Jake almost laughed. But Bella's personal sun stopped just short of that. He couldn't bring himself to do it. Not just this second, not when his heart was ripping out of his chest.
"It's okay; it's not your problem," Jake said quickly. He meant it. He didn't mean to make Bella feel bad. It might have worked before, but Bella knew better now. Jake knew that it wasn't any fair to Bella. It wasn't and he knew it. He didn't know why he even tried to get at her like that. It wasn't fair to anyone - Bella, Jake, Edward. Their names clashed and tore at each other and a ripple of heat ran down Jake's body as he thought about Edward holding Bella. He took a couple deep breaths, calming himself instantly.
"If you're sure that he wouldn't mind. Or we can always see if Billy has something that might fit," he muttered. "I don't want you wasting time or money on me. I know that you have a lot to do to get ready for the wedding still." Jake wasn't trying to be inconvenient. His middle name should just be inconvenient. When he came to Bella, he was never nothing more than that.
"If you're sure. I want you to talk to Edward about it, again. To make sure that he really meant that, about giving me a choice. I guess he thought it was the least he could do. He wrote that he would... want the option, if I had won out." Jake wasn't sure if Bella knew about Edward's handwritten note included in the invitation. He didn't know if he had said too much to Bella, but he didn't care at this point. If she was going to get mad at Edward, good. Jake was fairly certain that the bloodsucker would never hurt Bella. Not really. Never again - if he did, Jake had a very good memory and would be able to think about Bella when Sam had found her. That always seemed to do the trick with Cullen.
Jake dropped Bella's hand quickly, shoving his hand into his pockets. He knew it meant something different to him than to her. That hurt now. "Sure, sure," Jake said, pausing. He was thinking. "My house is closer," Jacob said with a shrug. "Just incase you didn't want me stinking up your place." Jake didn't mean by his teenager boy who hadn't showered in forever, either. He meant the smell that Edward would smell - the way that Jake could smell the sweet scent. "Whatever you want, Bella. Whatever you want."
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Post by Bella Swan on Jun 19, 2008 15:59:48 GMT -6
Bella sighed, this even hurt her. Too think she put him through this kind of pain, to think she hurt like this. Jacob was usually a happy guy, laughing and stuff. But ever since the kiss, he had been different, now that he knew Bella almost loved him enough to chose him. "But Jacob, this is my problem; I can't believe your this. Over..over" Someone like me, Bella Swan a clumsy girl, who would be alone if not for you and Edward "Over me" Bella pursed her lips, thinking. "Jake, your far from inconvenient. Really." Wow. Now Bella felt bad. The last thing she wanted was for Jacob to think he was just burden on her life. He was least person she find to be a burden.
As he dropped Bella's hand, she looked at her feet a little. "Ouch Jake." She said softly, thinking she had said something wrong to him, or something. She tried to keep the thought out her head that he was in love with her, it only made things like this harder.
"Jake, I think the best idea would be for us to go my house. Besides, Charlie has been asking about you, a lot." She kicked a patch of sand. "I'll make your favorites" She said with a small smile, elbowing him softly in the shoulder.
Bella walked with him over to her truck, and the door, gesturing to him to do the same, as she put the keys into the ignition.
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Post by believe410 on Jun 19, 2008 18:14:57 GMT -6
"I'm not over you," he snapped. He stopped walking as a rush of heat went down his body. He shuddered several times before he regained his composure. He instantly felt bad. "Bella, I'm sorry. It's just..." what did you say to a girl that you loved? What did you say to someone who couldn't love you as much as you loved them? What if this was it for Jacob? What if Bella Swan was his only chance at happiness. He shook his head, losing the thought. He pulled his best smile for her. "I'm just scared of losing you," he admitted.
"If you're sure," he said serenely as he continued walking towards her truck. "This old thing still runs?" He asked, picking up his speed a little. In all honesty, Jake was glad that she had kept the truck for so long. He had put so much time and effort into the thing that... well, it made him happy that she kept a piece of him around.
Jake took a deep breath and sighed. "Bella, I'm sorry. Please - I am acting childish. Forgive me." He was pleading. He pulled his puppy dog look, which for him wasn't that hard considering half of his life was now spent as a 'dog' of sorts.
"Okay," he agreed. "Hey, I saw those missing kid posters up all over Forks on my way in. Was that Charlie's idea?" Jake wondered out loud. Bella would know. Bella knew everything. "Sure, sure," Jake said, smiling again. He loved Bella's cooking.
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Post by Bella Swan on Jun 19, 2008 21:17:01 GMT -6
With Jacob's snap, Bella jumped a little. "Jake, I-I" She sighed, as he continued to speak. Thoughts where rushing through her tiny Bella head, and now, she decided, it was time to act on impulse. "Jack, it's alright. Really. I'm not over you, either, fully. I'll never be." With that, Bella had to step on tip toes, but she reached Jacobs height, almost, and kissed fully on the lips. Pulling away, she blushed a little. "Can you tell?"
She smiled at Jacob like the whole thing didn't just happen. "Of course it still runs. It was fixed up by the best." She had to admit, Jacob was a good mechanic. Hey, he got her old truck running.
As he apologized, Bella smiled up at Jacob. "Of course I forgive you Jacob. How could I turn down that face?" She said to him, touching his cheek a little. It was true, she did love him. She loved him a lot. It just wasn't enough. Plus, Edward was her prince charming.
But what did that make Jacob? Her prince charming runner up? Maybe. She had thought long and hard about life with Jacob-not having to get married until they where older, being able to grow older in the first place, and having children.
Yet, she would let these thoughts escape her mind. No matter is she was forever 18, she loved Edward. Thinking about Edward sent butterflies into her stomach. She loved him.
Putting her keys into the ignition, she answered Jacob's question. "Yeah, it's wierd, all these kids have gone missing, and leave it to Charlie to let everyone know about it."
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Post by believe410 on Jun 19, 2008 22:31:53 GMT -6
Jake was taken aback by Bella's kiss. It... he hadn't been expecting that. It took all of his power not to reach out and touch her, pull her close, kiss her again. He wanted to, but he knew that it was wrong. He could see the ring on her finger. Right vs. wrong... right vs. wrong... instead, he settled on running his finger over his lips. His lips were tingling from the kiss. Hadn't she felt the electricity that bolted through him? Hadn't she felt that, too?
"I can tell," he agreed slowly. He didn't know what to do, say. How to react. He loved her and he wasn't enough. The bloodsucker was prince charming. Not Jake. Jacob would never be enough for Princess Bella.
Jake grabbed the hand that touched his cheek. He knew that she could drive one handed. He laced his fingers through hers, holding the hand close to him. He wanted just a piece of her. Just something to keep for now. Just something to hold onto. Just something that told him that even for a second, Bella loved him. He knew that it was purely selfish, but he didn't care. He was Jacob Black. The world could be his, if he only reached out for it.
"Bells," he started, slowly, unsure. "I'm sorry that I took off on you like that. I'm sorry that I... left, without telling anyone where I was going. I just... I can't take this, Bells. It's...I'm...Ugh," he finished, leaning his head against the car door window. His eyes were trained out of it, searching for God knows what.
"Did Charlie really find it necessary to put up missing posters for me? I can't imagine that Billy was worried. Even you - You know that I can and will take care of myself, Bella. Why did he put them up?" Yes, it bothered Jake. He just wanted to be left alone. He just wanted to live out his life sentence in peace.
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